Thursday, September 4, 2008

I Should Be Suspended From Class


So, let me introduce you to hell. Conveniently located in the heart of our nation's capitol (capital? my brain's rotting) it feeds off of abandoned college applications, overwhelming school work and piles (literally) of debate work. Yet this nutritious diet just doesn't seem enough for the devilish fat ass, so it requires a meer three hours sleep, freshman who don't shower, and lunatics.

My parents are gone this week, and I have a nice large house all to myself. My friends have basically begun frothing at the mouth at the prospect of it. And yet, while festivities are occurring, i most likely will be sheltered in my room, doing work.

Now-- the REAL devil may be the fine specimen of good old American hypocrisy-- Sarah Palin! Hollah at ya homegirl, this woman's a flaming bitch. Even the moose (god bless his soul) is straining THROUGH DEATH to get away from her body. And please, someone, explain that, although the words may sound confusingly similar, highlighters aren't meant for hair highlights.
I could go on a real political rant, but I think I'll settle for being a bitch. If you need a real reason to not vote for her, it really shouldn't be that hard. Here are some search terms:

1. "no experience" w/20 "Sarah Palin"
2. McCain "last second pick"
3. "Sarah Palin" w/30 minister AND "God Gave Alaska Oil So We Could Survive the Apocalypse"
4. "Sarah Palin" w/5 of Child of Satan


and yes. I know. I use the lexis too much. shut the fuck up.


You Really Must Watch This.



Music Will Begin Again shortly. Almost promise.

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